Monica AustinLicensed Marital and Family Therapist My passion is to help couples, families and individuals maneuver through the storms of life and embrace the process. Are you experiencing difficulties in your marriage, other relationships, struggling with depression, anxiety or asking what planet your teenager is from? You are not alone, almost everyone will have to deal with one or more of these types of challenges at some point in their life. Read more Monica Austin
Rebel BuersmeyerLicensed Marital and Family Therapist
Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counseor
I am passionate about partnering with my clients to enable them to heal their past, live their present, and embrace their future. I use an integrated approach to treatment which treats the whole person, not just the symptom. In working with my clients, I assess psychological, biological and social factors that may be contributing to the presenting problems. My experience includes working with children, adolescents and adults with depression, anxiety, trauma, substance abuse, life transitions and relational difficulties. Read more Rebel Buersmeyer
Mary FitchLicensed Professional Counselor Do you find yourself doing the same thing, over and over, in an attempt to make changes in your life? Do you often feel frustrated and disappointed because things just don't change despite your best efforts? You can make changes in your life; however, it is essential that you have the support and the tools to make that happen. Oftentimes, people have resistance to change and put up obstacles in their path which they are unable to recognize. It takes a great deal of strength, NOT weakness, to ask for help and to allow someone to help you. Read more Mary Fitch
Joshua NicholsLicensed Marital and Family Therapist
Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Candidate
I have a passion for helping build and strengthen marital and parent-child relationships as well as helping individuals with personal growth. My expertise cover a wide-array of mental health and relational issues. Read more Joshua Nichols
Ben ThompsonLicensed Marital and Family Therapist I want to help you change. My approach involves working with you to figure out the old patterns and habits keeping you unhappy and unfulfilled, and then helping you change them so you can live the life and have the relationships you want. In each session we will also utilize drawing as a means to helping you see the change you desire. My goals are to help you change, create with you new patterns for happier, healthier living, and help you feel more alive. Read more Ben Thompson
Carrie KygerLicensed Marital & Family Therapist
LMFT Clinical Supervisior
Due to my training as a marriage and family therapist, I believe that problems are between people and that people are not their problems. Instead, the way we cope with and experience our problems can be both helpful and hurtful. My job is to guide individuals, families and couples to find ways to use their strengths to cope with and redefine their problems. This requires accountability for each member in their part of the problem and the solution. Read more Carrie Kyger
Lauren ThompsonLicensed Professional Counselor I am a Licensed Professional Counselor who enjoys working with individuals, families, children and adolescents. Asking for help can be overwhelming and difficult, but it shows great strength and determination. I believe that counseling is a collaborative process between therapist and client; and that each client is different and unique. Read more Lauren Thompson
Heather WarfieldLicensed Marital & Family Therapy Candidate I am passionate about helping people build insight, skills, and confidence in order to promote positive relationships, achieve goals, and meet their full potential in life. In order to do this, I find it essential to create a safe environment to explore presenting issues as well as the histories, events, and relationships that created and continue such hardships. As a therapist, I see my role as an advocate and coach in assisting each person, couple, and family through their unique journey of growth and change. Read more Heather Warfield
Gabe YandellLicensed Marital & Family Therapist Today, you can begin a different path in relationships with others and with yourself. No person exists outside of relationships and every relationship has flaws. In some way, we are shaped every day by our view of ourselves and by those around us. I am here to empower you to be the person you want to be. Depression, anxiety, shame, resentment, and other issues all can be addressed through gaining understanding and self-expression. Read more Gabe Yandell

DIY? Not a Good Approach for Sex Addiction Recovery

No one should go through recovery ALONE!
 
It is in our nature to want to be independent and establish ourselves as an individual with a mind of our own.  From the moment our children are born, they begin this journey of individualization.  Parents learn real fast they can’t control these little ones. I remember the night my first child was born.  He didn’t waste any time revealing to us his high-strung personality.  As an infant, the child had more energy than I could ever fathom having for myself.  He cried and cried and cried.  Finally after losing what seemed like hours of sleep, we buzzed the nurse – “Please come take this child so we can have just an ounce of rest.”  Thank God for quality nurses.  The very first night of my son’s life, he made his presence known.  
 
As our children grow they continue to strive for independence.  They constantly want to do things themselves even though parents know the outcome would be disastrous.  However, although it can be very scary at times, it is our job as parents to raise our children to embrace their independence.
 
Sex addiction is a problem that gets its strength in darkness.
 
Our culture also values autonomy.  We are very much part of a “Do It Yourself” culture.  We have websites (e.g., Pinterest), television networks (e.g., DIY Network), and books (e.g., “self-help” genre) completely devoted to this mentality.  We typically don’t like to ask for help because we don’t think we need it.
 
Well, when it comes to sex addiction, the DIY mentality just doesn’t work.  Sex addiction is a problem that gets its strength in darkness.  The DIY mentality actually enables addicts to keep their secrets, their traumas, and their pain bottled away in a nice dark corner of their soul.  However, that dark corner can’t contain the evil that is addiction.  Addiction has to break loose; it has to manifest itself in the world; it simply cannot be contained.
 
If you are a sex addict and your attempts at overcoming this struggle has repeatedly failed, maybe you are still operating under the DIY mentality.  I challenge you with a new approach.  I challenge you to bring back the “It Takes a Village” approach.  It is extremely important for sex addicts to acquire a healthy and encouraging support system.  Your village should include, but not limited to, the following:
 
  • Your spouse (if s/he is willing),
  • A small group of close friends that you trust, 
  • A select group from your church (if you have a church family), 
  • Your 12-step sponsor (if you don’t have one, get one), 
  • Your therapist (again, if you don’t have one, please consider seeing one). 
 
Overcoming sex addiction is not exactly an easy undertaking.  It is an extremely rocky path that usually requires intense treatment and professional attention which can last for years.  You should NOT be going through recovery alone. If you have any questions or concerns related to sex addiction, sex addiction treatment, or building your village, please feel free to contact me as I would be more than willing to share my expertise on this matter.

- Josh

Joshua Nichols

  • Licensed Marital & Family Therapist
  • Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Candidate

 

 

Subscribe to Family Solutions Counseling RSS